Bad Numbers

Travis called me from work earlier today. His doctor’s office called him with the results of his blood tests from last week. His cholesterol has jumped up significantly. And more importantly, his triglycerides are above 550. That is bad. Really bad. So bad that the lab couldn’t even calculate the “good” cholesterol. So, needless to say, we will be changing the way eat, effective immediately. Which also means we will have very crabby children, effective immediately. His doctor is putting him cholesterol medication, wants us to see a nutritionist, and he has to go back in 3 months for anther blood test.

I have no problems eating healthy. I love chicken, pork and fish. As does Travis. We both enjoy fresh fruits and veggies. But to be perfectly honest, it is so much cheaper to buy crap food. With the cost of living and gas these days, and due to the fact that groceries have gone up so much…who the hell can afford to eat healthy? Apparently, we will have to tweak our budget somewhere to come up with the funds to so this. My husband is  walking heart attack waiting to happen.

Our main obstacle will be the children. Ah, they always are the main problem Anyway, if it doesn’t come from a drive-thru, or from a box out of the freezer, Taylor really wants nothing to do with it! Seth used to be a wonderful eater. Until he realized that Taylor was not. He now is following in her footsteps. I will not and am not one of those mothers who tells her kids that if they don’t eat what I made form suppr, then theydon’t eat at all. Neither of my kids can afford to lose weight, they are both tiny. Plus, I don’t agree with starving my babies.

I had a talk with Taylor about this today. And she promised to not whine so much in front of Seth and to help make this transition as smooth as possible. She is petrified with the thought of losing her daddy. I told that isn’t going to happen, but she immediately jumped to worse case scenario. She gets that from me So, I am off to find some low-fat cookbooks and recipes that are family friendly to picky, picky eaters. Maybe the nutritionist will be able to help with that. Off to the store I go!

Caught in the middle

We are having an issue at work with a nurse. By “we”, I mean the staff of the unit I work on. That includes that RN’s and the CNA’s. There is a certain nurse who has really crossed the ethical line with a patient and his family. This patient came to our floor as a transfer from a different hospital because they aren’t able to handle trauma patients. This is an older gentleman wth several healh issues, including a trach, PEG tube, multiple fractures, and his jaw is wired shut. That being said, this nurse “Deb”, has really become attached to him and his family. When Deb would have a day off, she drive in to “check in” on this guy. When he was transferred to ICU because he placed on a vent, she requested to be floated to the ICU so she could still be his nurse. When he was transferred back up to our floor, she would change the bedboard so she would have him every time she worked. Now, inbetween all of this, she gave her phone number to his family and they call her all the time and she calls them. He was taken to a rehab floor and she would go up there and deal with the doctors and complain that the nurses on that floor weren’t taking proper care of him! At this point I need to tell you that rehab nursing is completely different, you need to make the pt do things for themselves, it make appear mean, but it really isn’t.

She would spend the vast majority of her shift in this pt’s room and literally ignore the rest of her patients except to assess thema nd pass meds. All of the staff can see this happening. The problem now is he is back on our floor. And Deb isn’t being allowed to take care of him this weekend. So she has been spending her time at the end of the hall talking with the family and not doing her job. And since Deb has completely spoiled this guy, no ther nurse can live up to her and the family is complaining that he isn’t being taken care of properly.

Friday, one of the charge nurses asked me if I had talked to Deb about this. Having this conversation is NOT part of my job. She and I started at the same time, we are both new to nursing and have a lot to learn. And Dev really is a great nurse, she is only 22 and doesn’t have life experience behind her and doesn’t see anything bad in anybody. But in this case, she really has blinders on. Oh yeah, she just started dating the patient’s son!! I don’t understand how the leads can know what is happening, not assign her to be his nurse, yet not explain why! She could lose her license over this! They are expecting us, her co-workers to talk her. So it won’t come across as a lecture. I think that at this point, she oes need a lecture, and it does need to come from a supervisor.

Ok, I had to vent. This has been going on for a month now and I just feel bad for her and for everyone else. Thanks for listening

Everybody was Kung-Fu Fighting….

This afternoon I went to see Kung-Fu Panda with my friend Jamie and 4 kids that she baby-sits for…all of them are under 5, one of them being my darling baby boy. We had such a good time! All the kids sat perfectly still and there was very minimal talking going on. In fact, most of the talking was me and Jamie discussing how well behaved the children were It was really nice doing something with Jamie. She and I really have lost touch over the past year and a half, so when she asked if I wanted to go with her, I didn’t hesitate. This is the woman who knows all of my high-school secrets, and then some. And I know all of hers.

This was Seth’s first movie theatre experience. It was so fun to watch his eyes get THISBIG when the previews started and the volume gets turned up and the lights get turned down. And, even more importantly…we didn’t have to get up to go potty once!! Now that is a positive movie experience!

I have today off, so I’m just being a bum and not doing much. And for the first time, I am ok with doing nothing. I have tomorrow off, too, so maybe I’ll be more motivated then. My house does need to be cleaned, but I can always push that off til its closer to when my mom gets here

We are so short staffed at work that the higher-ups have decided to do internal contracting. This happens very rarely. What this means is my supervisor puts out a list of dates and shifts that need coverage. When you sign up and work, you get an additional $10.42/hr more. Add that on top of shift differential, weekend premium, and weekend bonus for picking up a weekend shift, and it good money for 8 hours. It is also first come, first served. So I went down last night and signed up for an additional shift each week. I would’ve loved to done more, but I don’t want to work more than 4 days in row, especially when 3 of them are 12 hour shifts. And I don’t want to get burnt out. Anyway, the extra $$ on my paycheck will go to good use!

Tay had a friend spend the night last night and he is still here, so I tihnk I’m going to go bug them and video games with them Oh, if we are playing SingStar, and the dogs decide to howl with us, do you think that is a good sign?!?! Yeah, that’s what I thought….

My week

Tonight is the last night I have to work for teh week until Friday. I am so grateful for that. I am beyond exhausted. We have had trauma after trauma being admitted, and so many being young adults, that I just need a mental break.

My mom purchased her tickets to come out for a visit!! She will be here towards the end of June and go back the Tuesday after July 4th. I can’t wait to see her. Although at the same time I don’t want to realize how much she is aging. I notice it so much more because I only get to see her once or twice a year now. It is really heartbreaking for me to be so far away from her.

I spoke with my dad tonight to wish him a Happy Father’s Day. He told me that their house has sold and they will be closing on in the middle of July. They have bought a condo and are really down-sizing. It still makes me sad to think that Seth will never experience summers in Dad’s backyard. They are moving further out of Portland to get away from the high city taxes. I can totally understand and even agree with that decision, but it means they are even further from the ocean. I LIVE to go to the ocean. I can’t wait to introduce Seth to the beach and rocks and sea gulls and shells on the sand….

Because of how both of my parent’s lives are chagning so drastically, it really makes me want to move to Maine in the worst way! I hate hearing about what they are doing after the fact. I feel like I’m left out of the loop, almost as an afterthought…”gotta call Becky so she knows what is going on” kinda thing. I guess I need to face that I need to grow up and see that they are capable of living their own lives and that I’m not the center of it anymore. I still don’t like being so far away though. I always have that “what if” scenario playing in the back of my head.

Taylor and I have become addicted to paying SingStar! It is the most fun I have ever had with a video game! We are playing all the time. Sometimes we are “hit artists” and at times we are “tone deaf”. And, according to Pay Station…I am quite good at singing Britney Spears I dont know if I want to admit that in public I’m also pretty good at Avril Lavigne….its ok if you laugh, because I totally have been!

Well, I’m off to bed!

Arrogant Butthead

That is my brother’s new name…although I’m calling him something differnt than “butthead”. I’ve blogged before about I miss being connected to family and how I always think and fell like I’m missing out on stuff. I think my one brother has changed my mind on that.

This particular brother is a half-brother through my mother. He was so excited when she moved to Maine because he lives in Mass and was saying how great it would be to be so close to her, to have only a 2 hour drive to see her, blah blah blah. For the year she has lived there, he has only see her twice. And called her only a handful of times.

Mom was talking to him on the phone the other night and mentioned that she was planning on coming out here to visit for a couple of weeks. He went all ballistic saying that he never sees her and why should she come out here and not drive down to see him, and all this other complete bs. Here’s the thing, and he knows this. Mom HATES driving with a passion. His wife nd my mom don’t get along at all. She is a major religion freak. She even tells her kids that anyome who is not Catholic will go to hell when they die. Also, my brother only became a part of our life about 15 years ago. Therefore, she is MY mom and his birth mother. And he is also a gigantic, arrogant butthead!!!

I think I feel a bit better now…

Really, this is my life??

I fixed one of Seth’s absolute favorites for supper tonight. He took one look at his plate when he got to the table and promptly told me that he doesn’t eat “this”. “This” is sloppy joe mix, tator tots, and shredded cheese baked up inside a crescent roll. I should preface this with the fact that it meets every requirement of the toddler food groups, minus the candy. So, Seth tells me that he only eats sloppy joe at Jamie’s house (his daycare provider). Did I mention the fact that I gave Jamie this recipe?!?! And he eats it like crazy over there?!?! Really, is this happening?

Right now Seth is in the bathtub. He has decided that the only way he will get clean is if we squirt him with a water gun. OK, I’ll play that game as long as it means he gets a year’s worth of dirt off him. However, when he just told me that only the water gun can get the “cling-ons off my butt”, I draw the line!!! How lovely that my son can say that appropriately. Really, is this happening?

Taylor was getting ready to meet one her friends at the park earlier today. I noticed that Luna (her dog) had an accident in the office. I also saw that Killian had one, too. This makes me realize that even though she was home all day, she probably let the dogs out only once, maybe twice. I asked her to clean up the mess. After she left the house I saw that she only cleaned up her own dog’s mess and left the other there for me.

I love my life…..

Quick Update

The Wii still works!! YAY! I really was worried about that. Thankfully the penny didn’t cause any damage. I went out and bought Singstar today for the PlayStation! I have very high hopes for this game. Hope it can live up to them!

I realized that for some inane reason, I tend to think that Matt (Tay’s bio dad), will grow up and take responsibilty. In my head I know that will never happen, or if it does, my daughter will not see that side of him. So why do I get so upset with him? I guess its because I want him to be the man that once upon a time he used to be.

My mom is going to come visit for a couple of weeks in July!! The church attendance drops drastically during that month because of vacations and etc., so they told her to take as much time off as she wanted to visit! She put it up to me to determine the best weeks. I’m going to plan it so she’s out here for the two weekends that I have off. I am just beyond excited that she is coming out! This means that I have to start cleaning the house.

The Power of Love

I worked yesterday and the great pleasure of taking care of two wonderful patients and their families. The first is an elderly man that came up to my floor from ICU for in-house hospice care. His family had just decided to make him DNR and they took him off the vent, stopped his tube feeding and etc. He was awake and kept squeezing his wife’s hand. When his children would come in the room, you could tell he was trying to smile. He was unable to talk, but he was expressing so much through his eyes. Once it was getting closer for his time to leave, his wife laid on the bed next to him and sang to him. I was in the room as he took his last breath. His wife gently kissed his forehead and then broke down. This was a couple who was married for over 50 years.

The second is a gentleman who was beaten to a pulp by 4 teenagers. He has a trach, a feeding tube, and his jaw is wired shut. His wife does all of his personal cares, and stays in the room to hold his hand when we have to suction his trach. Some of the cares we do for him are not pleasant. But she always has a loving smile on her face, not only for her husband, but for us as well.

These women have inspired me. The depth of their strength is amazing. It has made me re-evaluate my own thoughts on my life, my family and my marriage.

It is these type of patients that made me want to become a nurse.

Odds and Ends…

I can’t figure out how to put pictures on this stupid page!! I’m getting beyond ticked off. I am just going to have to stop trying, walk away, calm down and try again later. Or ask Taylor to do it I want to show off the new baby. He is such a sweetheart. If he truly grows into his feet, he is going to be a BIG boy. He’s getting along decently with the other dogs. They all have issues with wanting to eat each other’s food. Its kind of entertaining to watch.

Seth stuck a penny in the Wii. So we had to order a special itty-bitty screwdriver to open the console. Apparently they make them impossible to break into and fix on your own. But I’m confident that the warranty doesn’t cover 3 year olds putting money inside it. Anyway, the screwdrivers came, the penny is out and we are all afraid to try to play a game. If that child of mine broke my Wii, I will not be a happy camper!

Had it out with Tay’s bio dad a little while ago. I’m still spitting nails, I am so pissed off at that man! Seth learned a couple of new, colorful phrases, courtesy of me. Anyway, Matt (the jerk), owes me money for Taylor’s ER visit. He refuses to pay because his insurance is “better”. I put Tay under my insurance as well, because I don’t trust Matt to keep her on his. Because I did that, the insurance company cancelled her off of his policy. I guess they won’t pay coverage twice for the same person, or some crap explanation that like. Anyway, he refuses to be a man and a respectable father and pay. So, since I was mad enough at that, I thought “what the hell, I might as well really piss him off”. I asked if he forgot Tay turned 13 this year. He said no, so I asked why he didn’t call to wish her happy b-day, he claims he forgot. WHATEVER!!! I then asked why he hasn’t gotten her a Christmas or birthday present in years. His response….he hung up! Yes, that is the a$$ that I was once married to!! According to Matt’s dad, the reason he doesn’t see her is because of his wife. What kind of woman would be jealous of a child and forbid to let him see her? I called Matt out on this and he said it wasn’t true. I said what was true is that he obviously doesn’t have a pair. And if she can control this, what makes me think she wouldn’t have a fit about Tay being on their insurance??

I need to go calm down….fat chance of that happening any time soon!

Checking In

Hi everyone. I’m still alive, I’ve just been busy with work and home stuff. I will post more this weekend. My big news is that we got a new puppy! Killian is a 4 month old Irish Setter. I will take pics and post them. He is the sweetest most laid back animal I have ever seen. I will try to have them up by the end of this weekend at the latest