Random stuff
April 6, 2008 by becky74
I woke up this morning only to discover a zit on my forehead. I am NOT amused by this. Then, as I’m doing my hair, I see a couple of wirey, short hairs and come to realization that they are white. Hello!! I am 33 years old…too old for break outs and too young for gray/white hair! I tried to rationalize with myself that they were really just very blonde hairs, but I didn’t buy it. They were white or gray, but most certainly most any shade of blonde! Hmm…I am quite certain that I do not like this!! My friend Aravis named her 2 gray hairs work and school. I am not nearly as accepting as her. I plucked mine and I know, I know…about 50 more will grow in its place. I’ll deal with that when it happens.
I came to sad conclusion this past week that my oldest and dearest friend and I are really no longer friends. We have been best friends since 7th grade. This past year she made a new friend with one of the moms of a child she baby-sits for. This mom is beyond rich. I actually like this mom, but I can’t afford to keep up with the Jones’s. My friend just got back from a long weekend on Vegas. She didn’t even tell me she was going, I overheard tell another mom and asked her about it. When she got back she was telling me about all the pictures ad texts she send people of the sites. Guess how many of those I received? That’s right, she didn’t send a single one to me. She is my son’s Godmother and his daycare provider. I guess I must come to terms with the fact that our new relationship is daycare stuff only. I am very sad about this. I have seen it coming for awhile, but I was hoping it really wouldn’t happen.
I hate when I logo n to my computer and have no emails and no one is available to IM. It makes me feel lonely. I’m actually a fairly quiet person and it takes away for me to warm up to new people. I come across as snobby, but I am so far from that. I have a very samll circle of close friends, minus one now. I really only have 2 friends that I talk to on a daily basis. i don’t know what I would do about them. My New Year’s resolution was to make new friends. In real life that is hard to do. However, I have made several really good friends online and I am so grateful for each and everyone of them. One of them is fast becoming my best friend. She and I are so alike and can talk about anything and I cherish that so much.
Well, that’s enough depressing stuff for one day. Have a great Sunday 
Oh, I’m so sorry that you’re going through this! I know how it hurts when a friendship changes or comes to an end. You’re such a wonderful person, though, that I’m sure people in “real” life will come to realize this and snatch you up as a friend. In the meantime, they don’t know what they’re missing!
Personally, I’m so glad I’ve gotten to know you.
*hugs*
That sucks! I am sorry you two aren’t the friends you once were. I feel the same way when I get online and all I have is junk mail and my IM thingy is all greyed out because nobody is online. I’m like, “HELLO WORLD I’M HERE!! NOTICE ME, LOVE ME, MAKE ME FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF!” Something like that anyway
I’m sorry about the friendship ending. I can truly understand how you feel.
I’m all about being needy these days, so when I get online I look for my new online friends. Even if it’s just to read a blog and think “hey there they are!!”
Hope you are feeling better soon!
People change, friendships change, and no, it is not easy. I know how you feel. I know someone who is a ‘chamelion’ friend, she is a different person depending on who she is with. She can be the party animal to some, the stay at home tea totaller to others etc. she feels the need to adapt to who she is with just so they will accept her. The sad thing is, she has lost who she really is as a person, she is so busy trying to be everything to everyone just to have friends. I am who I am, my best friends and I have gone through divorces, kids, good and bad times, but we are there for each other warts and all. I think because we stay true to ourselves, we can accept each other no matter what. There is no pretence.
As for the grey hair, I have some, but they don’t stand out too much because my hair colour is dirty blonde. I just think of them as ‘natural highlights’.. lol. Unlike Aravis, I have too many to name individually,,,,
The gray hair thing, I’m surprised I’m not dealing with it already…I’ve gone through quite a lot in my twenty-three short years. Of course, I dye my hair so often, it’s possible they are hiding under there somewhere! lol
As far as the bff thing goes, I managed to make two of the most awesome friends on the planet a few years ago, all by myself. Then one got divorced and I got put into some warped monkey in the middle game with her and her soon-to-be ex-husband. Her and I wound up fighting and not speaking for a few months. The other friend took her “side”. Then a few months of no talking, my sister called her and asked her to call me because I was miserable without my best friend. A year later and we’re still struggling to pick of the pieces.
I have a new bff and she really is awesome. She has helped me deal with so many things the last year or so and I love her to pieces. BUT there are a lot of things she says and does that just irk me and I am starting to feel like I did in Junior High…on the edge of a circle of friends, not quite cool enough to be in the actual circle, always left out and not included. I’m trying very hard to not allow myself to feel like this but it’s getting rough, especially since I’m a “stay at home with my kids” kind of woman (I very rarely go out and when I do, it’s dinner and a movie, never a bar) and she’s a “ship the boy off to gramma’s cuz mama’s hitting the clubs pretty much every weekend” kind of woman. I don’t agree with that. She needs to be home. I don’t care how young she is or that none of her friends want to hang out with her then….there’s a reason why I have very few “real life” friends and that is it, I didn’t want to be out every weekend. I barely see my kids as it is.
But now I have you guys and, seriously, not to get all mushy, but I’d rather have you all, people who really truly get my thoughts and feelings and the whole crazy thing, rather than a hundred “real life” friends who can’t even begin to imagine the crazy thoughts that swirl through my head and the bitchy/sad/insert whatever emotion my brain decides to switch into over drive moods I get into on an almost daily basis these days.
So, seriously, when are we going to Vegas?
Let’s make our “imaginary” friends real. Bippity Boppity Boo!
Aravis… I feel that all I ever say to you is “thanks”. But again your words inspire me. I’m so glad that I have gotten to know you better as well.
Janelle…I’m so glad that I have you as my friend! You always seem to understand what I am going through.
Emerald…I’m so glad that we are getting to know each other better. I enjoy calling you my friend. You can be as needy as you want
Lori…Being your true self is all the matters. I’m glad you have a good support system and I enjoy my chats with you.
Sheila…I’ve never really been a big party girl. I’m much more of a homebody than I care to admit
We’re planning on Vegas in 2009, so we can all start saving. Hope you can join us! I understand that “outside looking in” feeling all too well and it really does suck.
My online friends are wonderful, each of you truly rock and I wouldn’t trade any of you for anything
Love you all!!
I’ll be there…..I’ve never been. Of course, we’ll be the ones yelling for someone to turn the damned music down! lol