I’m back!!

Its funny, I went away to spend some quality time with myself and to have some peace and quiet. And while I thoroughly enjoyed that, I missed my kids so much. Its crazy how those two can press my buttons until I want to kill them, but the minute I am away from them, I feel so empty. I don’t understand how some people can have children and never want to see them. I can leave mine for a few days, but I now that I am coming back. I could never handle the thought of not being around them to watch them grow and learn.

My chicken pox are gone. All that is left of that lovely illness are some red marks on my chest and neck. And being that I am so pale and have sensitive skin, I’m sure that I will have these beautiful red marks for quite awhile. I also really itched a couple of them, and I’m pretty positive that they will leave a scar. Oh well, I guess I can consider it a souvenier

For my trip I went to Washington D.C. I’ve always wanted to go through The Smithsonian. I’m pretty sure I just spelled that wrong, but nothing else looks correct when I type it out either, oh well I just wandered around the halls and exhibits for a couple of days. It was wonderful being able to have the time to do it and the peace to see what I wanted.

I took Seth to get his haircut this morning. He loves having his hair cut and getting it spiked. Once we were there and he was in the little car chair, he started telling the stylist that when you burp, you say “burpy pants”, and when you fart, you say “farty pants”. Then he tells her that Mama (me) is a bupy pants because I burped really loudly in the parking lot coming in. Which is true, I did do that, but I NEVER expected him to share it with world!! Can you say mortified?!?!?! I wanted to strangle the little blabber! Then he also tells her that our pug, Luna, really farts all the time and that she really stinks. He must’ve carried on a bodily function conversation for about 10 full minutes. The topics that intrigue a 3 year old boy are just lovely Thankfully, the stylist has kids, so she understood and was just laughing and conversing with Seth about all the good stuff. Needless to say, I gave her a really great tip!

No more itchies!

The worst of the chicken pox is over!! There are no more new spots and the old ones are scabbed over and healing. It still itches to an extent, but it is WAY better! Since I am no longer contagious, I am leaving tomorrow (Tuesday) for a little mini sanity saver vacation. I am so excited to get out of the house!

Fort hose of you who asked, I have never had the chicken pox before. In fact, my blood titer shows that I am not immune to it. Even AFTER the fact that I did have the stupid immunization for it!! This means that my chances for getting shingles as an adult are no different than onyone else who has had the chicken pox. Travis had this as a child, and both of the kids have had the shot. So I think it is just me that was lucky enough to be blessed with this

Completely off topic here, but my dad and step-mom are selling their house. I am rather saddened by this. I live their house. I have a lot of good memories. I am also sad that Seth will never get to play in the backyard and chase squirrels and fall into the fish pond. They have decided to downsize and are looking at buying a condo. My dad says it is too hard for him to keep up with the yardwork and the shoveling in winter. It also saddens me that my parents are aging. I don’t like to think of them as growing old. I really miss being in close proximity to them. I haven’t seen my dad since Seth was 6 months old. Its expensive to fly 4 people out to Maine. And with the price of gas, a 2 day road trip is out of the picture. My goal is to make it out there some time this year. Its important to me that both my kids get a chance to see my parents and my grandma. And I want Seth to appreciate the beauty of the ocean.

Well, I’m off to start getting ready for my travels tomorrow! I will be back later in the week and I will check in then!

Chicken pox, I think not….

However, my doctor thinks otherwise. I am 33 and I have the chicken pox!! And it really sucks. It started out with an innocent rash that I didn’t think twice about. Whenever I get stressed, I break out in hives. I just assumed that is what this rash was. As I was at work today, apparently my rash was spreading to my back and my neck. While I was sitting at the nurse’s station, miserably scratching away, one of the doctor’s noticed. he took me into an empty patient room and looked at it and said that I needed to go home and see my regular doc, because he was pretty sure that I had the pox!! So home I went, and I was not to happy to leave work early.

After seeing my doctor and having a different doctor check out my rash, they decided to draw blood to see if I had an active infection. I go to an Internal Med doc, and they don’t deal with children, so they really aren’t all that familiar with chicken pox. My doc called an Infectious Disease doc, but he wasn’t in the office. Thank God for that, because who knows what kinds of tests he would’ve ordered!! Anyway, after I left, my doc was discussing me with a different MD. And I guess this other MD had chicken pox a few years ago and said that the rash can present differently in adults. And to assume that is what I have since everything lines up and points to it. So, I am now on a 5 day anti-viral course of meds. And its a very well known commercial drug for herpes. I didn’t want the pharmacist to think that I have herpes, so I made my doctor write “for chicken pox” on the prescription!!! No way in hell was I going to get some sort of “safe sex” speech from a pharmacist!

On the upside, I don’t have to work tomorrow or this weekend And after using vacation time for tomorrow, I can actually use sick pay time. Because, who really wants to use vacation hours when you aren’t allowed out of the house?!?!

I’m off to go calamine lotion myself

My son, aka “The flasher”

I have been sharing this charming Seth story with everyone at work, so I decided to share it with you as well. As most of you know, we moved into our house in November. Not the greatest month in Wisconsin to meet neighbors. This past weekend was gorgeous. In the upper 60’s and all sunshiney. So we were working outside some and Travis was cleaning the cars. Seth was helping him and I went in to start supper. I came out into the living room to watch Seth from the window and what greeted my eyes was his little 3 year old toddler tush hanging out! So I ran outside to see what Travis’s son was up to. Because no child of mine would have their butt hanging out in public view!! I ask Seth what he’s doing and he promptly tells me that he was peeing, cause he had to go potty. Now, keep in mind that ALL of our neighbors are outside..the ones across the street and the ones on both sides of us. Thankfully all of them have kids, so everyone was laughing. But this not my point. My point is that my son peed in the front yard!! And now thats the only place he wants to pee! This is going to be a long summer…….

I have been working. These 3am hours are really starting to kill me. They make me beyond exhausted and crabby. It takes me about 1-2 days to recover and get back to a normal place. And by then, its time to start working again. I really need to start looking elsewhere for a job. And that prospect sucks, because I love where I work. I love the nursing staff that I work with and I have made some good friends there. I love the type of patients that we get (for the most part), and I even like most of the doctors. I’ve been there for almost a year and I’m finally just starting to feel comfortable. In fact, the RN educator on my fllor asked me if I wanted to precept this summer. That means that I would have a nursing student who is one year away from graduating work the whole summer with me to get hands on experience. I would be a mentor and teach things that I know. I was floored when I was asked about this. I only graduated a year ago myself. I’m taking this as a sign that my supervisors must think I am doing a good job. I’m excited about the idea of working with a student, it should be fun and interesting. And I can pawn off the yucky stuff

Well, I’m off to try to convince Seth that he really does have to pee in the potty and not outside, even thought the sun is shining!!! I swear boys are weird

I am boring…

How sad is it that I haven’t posted anything new in a week and I really have nothing to blog about now? I wonder when I became boring? Have I always been boring and am just now realizing it? Or has been a slow process? Hmmm…I guess I will never know

I did have a lunch date with my daughter today. We went to Red Lobster and had a great time. She told me about everything that is going on at school and what is new with her friends. She even told me that she wants to go to Penn State for college!! I was floored by that. She told me all about her boyfriend and the troubles that her best friend is having with her mom. She also told me that her friends call me the “cool mom”. I was so excited by that!! It was great to actually hear taylor open up to me. She usually spends her time either on the computer or holed up in her room. But I will say that being 13 today is different then whan I was 13. There is so much more pressure on these kids to succeed and to grow up so fast. What’s wrong with taking the time to make mistakes and to actually enjoy being a kid???

Besides being boring, I am also a sucker. I volunteered to go into work tonight from 7pm-3am. Yeah, I don’t know why I said I would do that either. Oh well. It does have its bright side…I will not be around to hear Seth’s bedtime meltdown.

A friend of mine texted me a picture of a ferris wheel at the beach today. I really wish that I could be there riding on it. I love the feeling of going up in the air with the wind in my face. And I love watching the waves break on the shore. its such a liberating sensation, and I could really use that right about now.

Yucky!

That is how I feel right now. Not so much physically yucky, more like emotionally runover by a semi yucky. Its been stresful at work, and at home. I hate when I see my pile of bills grow taller by the moment. I used to love when the mailman would come, now I just dread it. I know that some company will want to get paid for something! I could’ve done the responsible thing and used out tax refund on bills, but we really wanted to spend it on things we wanted for the house. So that’s what we did. I don’t have buyer’s remorse, I just feel like I wasted money, even though I know I really didn’t.

I realized that in my last post, I forgot to mention that my real life friends (the handful that I have) weren’t mentioned. I would like to take this opportunity to let them know that they mean the world to me as well. Sometimes you take for granted that people know how you feel abou them. I forget that some need reminders of that.

I took Seth to Burger King today for lunch and to blow off some steam in the play area. He ended up scaring a couple of little girls by telling them that at the top of the slide there was a monster! I apologized to the girl’s parents. But I wasn’t sorry at all. These little girls were butting in line and being obnoxious. And quite frankly, I thought it was hysterical. It must’ve been “Mom’s Club” meeting day or something. And it was a group of “those” moms. The ones who don’t work, drive perfectly detailed high end SUVs (and can afford the gas), and whose hair and make-up are perfect when the get out of bed in the morning. That might be another reason that I wasn’t really sorry. They knew I was full of it, too. As I was trying to tell Seth not to scare the girls, I was laughing. Apparently, that really tipped them off. Oh well, I’m over it

Seth has been asking lately where Oreo is. How do you explain to a 3 year old about death? We try, but he doesn’t understand the concept. And at this age, I don’t want him to understand it either. We tell him that Oreo is up in heaven playing with all the other dogs and that he’s having a great time eating all the people food that he wants.

I have to work this weekend…that is also yucky. I’m of to actually go fold some of the laundry that is accumulating in the laundry room

My Heart Warmers…

1. When Seth tells me that he loves me before I say it to him. And when he gives me big hugs and kisses.

2. When Taylor tells me that she wants to have a “Mama and Taylor” day. And go out to eat and see a movie. Together. In public.

3. Spending an hour on the phone with my new best friend and having it feel like it was only 15 minutes. And realizing that we really have sooo much in common.

4. Reading the comments to my last blog post. Thanks everyone for letting me know that I’m not alone

Random stuff

I woke up this morning only to discover a zit on my forehead. I am NOT amused by this. Then, as I’m doing my hair, I see a couple of wirey, short hairs and come to realization that they are white. Hello!! I am 33 years old…too old for  break outs and too young for gray/white hair! I tried to rationalize with myself that they were really just very blonde hairs, but I didn’t buy it. They were white or gray, but most certainly most any shade of blonde! Hmm…I am quite certain that I do not like this!! My friend Aravis named her 2 gray hairs work and school. I am not nearly as accepting as her. I plucked mine and I know, I know…about 50 more will grow in its place. I’ll deal with that when it happens.

I came to sad conclusion this past week that my oldest and dearest friend and I are really no longer friends. We have been best friends since 7th grade. This past year she made a new friend with one of the moms of a child she baby-sits for. This mom is beyond rich. I actually like this mom, but I can’t afford to keep up with the Jones’s. My friend just got back from a long weekend on Vegas. She didn’t even tell me she was going, I overheard tell another mom and asked her about it. When she got back she was telling me about all the pictures ad texts she send people of the sites. Guess how many of those I received? That’s right, she didn’t send a single one to me. She is my son’s Godmother and his daycare provider. I guess I must come to terms with the fact that our new relationship is daycare stuff only. I am very sad about this. I have seen it coming for awhile, but I was hoping it really wouldn’t happen.

I hate when I logo n to my computer and have no emails and no one is available to IM. It makes me feel lonely. I’m actually a fairly quiet person and it takes away for me to warm up to new people. I come across as snobby, but I am so far from that. I have a very samll circle of close friends, minus one now. I really only have 2 friends that I talk to on a daily basis. i don’t know what I would do about them. My New Year’s resolution was to make new friends. In real life that is hard to do. However, I have made several really good friends online and I am so grateful for each and everyone of them. One of them is fast becoming my best friend. She and I are so alike and can talk about anything and I cherish that so much.

Well, that’s enough depressing stuff for one day. Have a great Sunday

Boo-Boo’s or Nipples?

Seth fell off of Taylor’s bed the other night and got a HUGE goose egg on his head. Of course he is crying as this bump on his forehead grows bigger and bigger. He calms down enough for me to put an ice pack on it and when I ask him if he wants Mommy to kiss his boo-boo, he replied that boys don’t have boo-boos, they have nipples. And he pulled up his shirt to prove his point. And he got really mad at me when I started to laugh!! So, the lesson I learned is that we no longer call bumps, bruises and scrapes boo-boos, we now call them owies. Let there be no more confusion on the subject.

I have finished 3 days in a row of 3am shifts. And I have the weekend off. I am so excited about that. Not that I have any plans, but I am excited to NOT be at work. Sadly, I do believe that I am adjusting to waking up at 1:30 in the middle of the night. Last night I got home around 4:30pm after picking Seth from daycare. I handed him over to Taylor to watch for a few minutes and I ended up sleeping until 11pm. Then I got up for an hour and went back to bed until 7:30 this morning. I so believe I have caught up on my sleep! But I’m still tired. I’ve read that tiredness is a side-effect of my med. Hopefully it goes away soon. I’m tired enough without being on anything, I don’t need help being any more lethargic!!

I bought Girl Scout cookies on Monday. I love GS cookie time! I can pretty much eat a whole box of whatever kind of cookie in one sitting! So I limit how many boxes I buy at one time. My family can also inhale them just as well. Plus, we still have enough Easter candy floating around the house to get an entire kindegarten class hopped up on sugar!

The house seems oddly quiet without having Oreo around. He was the dog that would start barking and get the other two all worked up. He was also the one that would curl up at my feet and keep my toes warm. I really miss him. I know that in theory, its supposed to get easier each day. but it really doesn’t. I truly don’t think that the house will ever feel the same again. I am handling it alot better than I thought I would. I don’t spend hours in bed crying about it. Well, I did the first day, but I’m reaching the point where I can talk about him and bring up Oreo memories and smile and not cry. I am taking that as a good sign.

Simce today is Friday, that means it is 80’s music weekend on a local radio station. I love music from the 80’s! Taylor gets so embarrassed by the fact that I can sing along to most of the songs. Imagine what she would do if I started dancing to them while one of her friends was over?? I should try that this weekend Oh, I am an evil mom and I have so much fun doing it!

I am loving the new fridge! It is so pretty, I just want to give it a big hug whenever I’m in the kitchen. Travis has taken down the old microwave over the stove, but hasn’t put up the new one. He held off on doing the past few nights because I have gone to bed at around 6:30, which was sweet on his part. But seriously, this is a family with children that rely on having a microwave available to heat things up in. I rely on it as well. How else am I supposed to heat up the steamed veggies?? So, I’m hoping that he will install it tonight! I’m all excited to play with the new buttons

Hmm, I guess it has been a pretty noneventful week for me thus far. Which is ok. Sometimes it is good to have nothing exciting happen.

Blustery Day Outside, but not in…

It is cold and sleeting outside right now. This is the kind of spring weather that I absolutely hate! However, I am actually in a good mood. It feels weird to be happy, I think I forgot what it feels like I’m on my second day of taking my whole dose of meds. I’m thinking I may lose some weight in the process. It has completely wiped away my appetite, plus I don’t think I could eat if I wanted to. But I suppose once I get used to it, the side effects will go away.

We got a new fridge. We were originally going to get one with the water in the door handle. Then we realized that with Seth, we would have a newly man-made lake in the house. So we opted to not go that route. Anyway, its so smooth and pretty. i give it til the end of the week before it has a scratch on it We got a great deal on it, so with the extra savings, we got a new over the oven microwave, too!! I was so excited I almost did my happy dance at the appliance store…but my meds aren’t working that good yet

I tookk Seth to Barnes and Noble this morning to get a book that was recommended to me. He was so well behaved, I thought he was someone’s child. We looked at all kinds of children’s books as well. I’ve never seen so many books dedicated to tractors and construction equipment in my life. He ended up picking out a book on dump trucks to take home. SInce he was so good, I took my chances and took him out to lunch. To a place that doesn’t have an indoor playground!! And, he stayed in his seat, actually ate more than half his lunch and was polite!! He kept saying hi to everyone at the store and at the restaurant. He was charming all the little old ladies, but no one offered to take him home Once we got home, he said he was tired and WILLINGLY laid down on the couch to take his nap!! I’m convinced that he is a pod person…something has taken over his body. I’m sure that once he wakes up, he will be back to his usual busy self. But it was a great morning with him!!

I work the next 3 days 3a-3p. Really not looking forward to that at all. There is just something unnatural about waking up at 1:30 in the morning. Not to mention that I’m usually starving by 4:00. But with no appetite these days, that shouldn’t be a problem! I’m off to wash my scrubs…..